You're Dead to me PetSmart

First off, I'd like to offer a warm welcome to the newest member of the Waist Not Want Not team, my kitty cat Bingley! He's cute and cuddly and, apparently, needs to lose 2 or 3 pounds. Guess what they say is true...like mother like son!

So the last time Bingley and I went to the vet he weighed in at 15 lbs (He should be closer to the the 12-13 range they tell me). I get the same barrage of questions every time after the annual weigh-in (and sadly enough these are the same questions I dread when I go to the doctor):

How much do you feed him?

Katie: 1 cup a day like you have told me.

Can you feed the two cats separately?

Katie: Ah no. That would be almost impossible to pull off.

Is he an indoor cat?

Katie: Yep. All his exercise is dependent on him playing with his buddy Jet.

You see this belly? This is where cats carry all their weight. He's got a whole lot of fat.

Katie: Wow. That was direct.

You get the picture. Being the good cat mommy that I am, I decided we needed to try something new to make sure Bingley's life is the best that it can be. So the solution this time was diet food. I bought one bag of Prescription Diet Food that day at the vet but I have since gone through it. Since the vet is totally inconvenient to my daily life and I haven't been able to replenish my supply, today I went to PetSmart to track down some more food.

I find the food (thank goodness!) and go to check out and they won't let me buy it without a "prescription card." Ah - excuse me? It's cat food. Regular old cat food with less calories. What do you mean a prescription? I'm sure I misheard you.

The sales lady proceeds to take my cat food off the register and place it aside. I mean, I couldn't even sweet talk her into putting in the top secret code to allow me to buy it just this once. No help at all.

What is the world coming to? I can't just buy food that will be better for my cat but I have to have authorization for it? What's next? I'll need permission to by Slim Fast at the grocery store? A doctor's note to enter the gym? Absurd. What's so wrong with diet cat food to where they would need to restrict it's purchase like an illegal substance? I'm not buying Xanax people - I'm buying cat food!!!!

You're dead to me PetSmart. Dead. Bingley and I will just have to get our pet supplies elsewhere and until the time I can get to the vet, I'm sorry Bingley, but the poundage might stay on a little bit longer. Sorry little guy!

Gym Room Gypsies (GRG)

Not many people are familiar with the gymnasious gypsious group (or in recent decades they've been dubbed "Gym Room Gypsies" for the layman) but they have actually been around for hundreds of years quietly flying under the radar. They travel in smaller groups of generally three to four people and are usually led by one dominant, or alpha, male with two to three male or female companions. Most bands are out-going and social, enjoy congregating amid various physical activities or games, and also possess the ability to quickly adapt to new surroundings which of course has aided in their survival over the years. Their diet consists mainly of lean protein, fruits and vegetables, and they tend to consume large amounts of water. Earliest documentation of GRGs indicate that they originated in the Mediterranean area and have since migrated to various regions all over the world.

One of the lesser know facts about Gym Room Gypsies are that several of the participants in the first documented Olympic games in Greece in 776 BC were members of a local band of GRG.

Yeah- I'm lying. Clearly, I'm making all of this up. And if you really believed me I suggest you contact your local community college and sign up for some history classes. :)

My latest post was inspired by our current homelessness gym-wise. Our trainer J.R. recently happened upon a great opportunity for his business- the chance to run his own studio gym. He of course consulted all of his clients to make sure moving locations would suit all parties involved and I can only speak for myself, but I know I was happy to oblige! Sadly, the manager of Uptown Energy Fitness was not so excited about the news. J.R. informed me last night that after he put in his 30 days notice (intending to move into his new facility May 1st) the manager of Uptown informed him there was no need to wait 30 days and yesterday would be his last day there. Can you believe that?! Inappropriate Uptown manager man!! So as of this morning, and for the next month, Katie and I will be training with J.R. at the gym in his apartment building next door.

Adjusting to the nomadic lifestyle was easier than I thought it would be. Our new location is a bit smaller but there is a lot more privacy. I guess most of the apartment dwellers aren't fans of working out before dawn...I suppose I can't blame them! Luckily for me, I can sculpt my sweet bod just about anywhere so the location of our gym is irrelevant. Haha, kidding! So far the only downside to being homeless is we do not have showers at the new locale so we still have to go across the street to my, now, mortal enemy's gym to use his showers. I have half a mind to not put my towel in the hamper anymore just to show him who's boss.

How do you like picking up my laundry manager man?!?

So given our new reality of living on the streets and having to fend for ourselves, we unfortunately didn't get to do our weigh-in and measurements seeing as...well...we don't even have a scale at or new location. Not to worry my little bloggy family, I'm sure we'll figure out something soon to remedy the situation!

I don't know if you heard me, but I did over a thousand

"You see the upper dorcimus is connected to the lateral ubulous. It's boring but it's my life."

Yesterday was an arm day and once again my arms felt like jello for a good part of the day, but the good news is that it was not near as bad as it was right when this little journey began. We're making progress people!

It's been a while since I've written so I figured I should give a bit of an overall update. We've been at it for a month now and I feel better. I don't know about weight or measurements (but newsflash - weigh-in and measurements are on Tuesday morning so stay tuned!) but I feel healthier and more energetic. I'm working out 5 days a week. 3 with JR and Ryan and then 2 of just cardio on my own. I've been easily waking up at 5:15 every morning, whereas before it was a struggle at 7:30. I'm trying to be good with eating too. The most difficult thing is taking on patio season, my favorite time of the year, and keep down on the empty calories of alcohol. I CAN'T RESIST OZONA'S HAPPY HOUR!!! I haven't been flat out avoiding carbs but I definitely have been trying to eat more veggies and proteins. It's been difficult but I feel like things are changing. I went to a wedding last weekend and wore a dress I hadn't worn in quite some time. It wasn't too big, but it definitely fit better than I remember!

Ryan and I will be back on Tuesday to let everyone know how things go.

In the immortal words of Ron Burgundy, "Hey everybody, come see how good I (we) look!!!"

The Good Ole Super Friends Tractor Pull...

What's that you say? You don't know what a Super Friends Tractor Pull is?? Do I have to spoon feed you guys everything?!

Alright, I give. Let me explain...

J.R. opened Tuesday's workout by stating, "Today we're just going to work arms and shoulders." Of course the first thing that goes through my head was, "wonderful! I'll probably live through this!! At least I'll be able to walk!" Now why I have yet to catch on to this I don't know...but J.R.'s concept of various body parts is usually quite different from mine. When I think of "arms and shoulders" I generally think of those long appendages that are positioned pretty perfectly below my neck that I use to let's say, hug people or perhaps eat a meal of food. Unfortunately for me, J.R.'s version of "arms and shoulders" involves more of my entire body. I'm beginning to think I might need to buy young J.R. an anatomy book...

We began working out with free weights where we paid homage to our super hero friends. Envision doing a curl but in your beginning position turn your wrists to face away from your body while holding the dumbbells. This my friends is "the Spiderman." Next, curl your arms up to your shoulders and now you have "the Wonder Woman." Now go ahead and press that out above your head, once again facing your wrists away from your body, and voila! "the Superman!" Okay, you get the picture!

So J.R. seemed to sense that Katie and I were handling our super hero workout fairly well so he decided to up the ante. [Enter giant tire].

The tractor pull portion of our workout began by doing up and down stair steps on our less than stable tire, followed by jumping in and over the tire, and it ultimately resulted in the marriage of our two workout halves creating a new bundle of joy: the Super Friends Tractor Pull. This mainly consisted of Katie and I standing on top of the tire at the same time, while maintain our balance on ONE foot and then adding our super hero arm work out to boot! You might be thinking to yourself, "oh come now Ryan...how hard could that be??" REALLY HARD, is what I would tell you! :) And don't kid yourself my readers, every time our raised foot accidentally touched the tire or we lost our balance and took a step it resulted in more reps. Yikes! And just for good measure at the end of the workout, J.R. decided to top things off with a refreshing session of taking turns flipping our massive tire and then jumping over it. Delightful!

So like usual, at the end of our "upper body workout" my entire body was screaming at me. I'm sensing that this is starting to become an painful pattern! :)

Look! It's a bird! It's a plane! No...wait. It's just Katie and Ryan standing on an enormous tire. Nevermind.

Short Circuit

To anyone with a legitimate taste in great movies, the title of today's post probably conjured up images of the 1986 classic in which a neurotic robot runs around town attempting to evade capture and eventual reprogramming. And if it didn't- well, clearly a quick trip to your local Blockbuster is in order because it's a rockin' flick. Given I was about 7 when I watched it, so perhaps it's not quite as cool as I remember but I'm sure it's still awesome. Short Circuit, I feel certain, is much like a fine wine (or myself)...they only get better with time. :) And for my movie watchers out there, how could we forget the famous line, "Number 5 is alive!!"

Well... Johnny 5 might be alive, but my lower extremities certainly are not. Which brings us to the heart of today's post. After yesterday's session of "lunge for your life," my glutes and hammys are being less than cooperative today...

Seeing as I could barely roll out of bed this morning, I knew today's workout was not going to be a cake walk but I'd hoped (to no avail) that once my body got moving I would be able to work out some of the "kinks." Sadly, this was not the case. Today it was back to circuit training with a peppering of cardio throughout the workout. And although the Circle of Doom is something I generally enjoy, today it was grueling on the lower body. My legs and derrière seemed to revolt against the strain I was putting on them and there was little I could do to change that but try not to cry like a little girl at the gym and attempt to push through it.

.

On the whole it was a good workout. And although I'm walking as though I've been riding a horse for a week I just keep telling myself, "If it hurts this bad now, just think how good you'll look in a few months!" So at this point, I welcome the pain. Bring it on body- I can take it!! You may want to be a fatty pile of goo but I say, "NO!" You're going to be in shape and like it! And just to show my butt who's boss I might just go for a run tonight. What do you think about that, huh?? Take THAT lower body!! BOOYAH!

Shout out

I would like to take this moment to thank my mother, Kathy Cleaveland, and my sister, Kimberly Cleaveland, for introducing me and staying right along side me with the Jane Fonda work out tapes during my formative years. We sweated, kicked, scooted, jogged, leg-lifted, crunched and clapped our way into health in the 80's with Jane Fonda and her gang of friends. Little did I know how it would influence me to day and lead me to my current 80's Gym Day success. All I can say is thank you. Without you, all of this might never have been possible.

And I would like to point out that growing up I wanted to be the girl in grey and pink to the right of Jane. She not only could kick and jog with the best of them, but she also sang at the same time. My idol.

And don't kid yourself...that is a man with a beard in tiny yellow shorts and a blue cut off shirt. Delicious.

"Let's Get Physical, Physical..."

I would like to welcome everyone back to the 80's for today's post! Get out your Popples and slap bracelets because you're about to experience a blast from the past!

J.R. took it upon himself to "mix things up" and what resulted was a somewhat embarrassing display (on my part) of classic 80's dance moves and exercises in the middle of a decently crowded gym. Awesome! :)

He decided to mainly pull from sweet, sweet dance movies such as Saturday Night Fever and Flashdance with a little Jane Fonda Workout mixed in there, of course. I mean what says 80's workouts better than Spandex, leg warmers, and Jane Fonda?? NOTHING!

Although I initially was a bit weary with where our 80s tribute workout would take us, I figured there was little I could do to stop it so I might as well enjoy it! I did have one stipulation for J.R. though- no Kevin Bacon Footloose montage dancing in the gym! Every person has their limits and well...Kev Kev is mine. haha! See what I mean?!? Yikes. ----->

But don't kid yourself...we were definitely running in place with spins and all in the middle of the gym à la Flashdance! I'm sure we were quite a sight to see for the bleary-eyed early morning fitness buffs. :) I must say though, Katie did a much better Jennifer Beals impression than me...she seemed to have a little more pizzazz when it came to the head roll/spin while running combo! :)

In the spirit of our 80's extravaganza, I requested that J.R. next time wear an awesome leotard and leggings...not surprisingly, he declined. He did however agree to sport an off the shoulder sweatshirt though! I still consider this a victory! And yes, I did paste J.R.'s head on Jennifer Beals' body...that is happening...like right now...


All in all, it was a pretty fun workout! And I totally have a new respect for leg lifts!! Ouch!

Jane, how did you do it??

..............

**Attention**

Have You Seen This Boy?

Last seen at Uptown Energy Fitness gym wearing a cut off shirt and (short) shorts. You will be able to recognize him by his chanting of the Bring It On cheer or by his impossible good looks. If you have any information please contact authorities immediately.

Although Katie and I considered issuing an Amber Alert for our missing trainer we decided against the idea mainly because he's not a child and also we figured he just overslept. Like the good little devout fitness buffs we are, Katie and I pushed through our workout this morning sans trainer. :)

Seeing as we were both still quite sore from yesterday's arms and chest extravaganza we decided to focus more on abs and legs with a little arms for good measure. We settled on a vamped up version of The Circle Of Doom with cardio sessions between sets. All and all I think we did an excellent job on our own! Three cheers for Katie and me!! Hooray!

And in case you were worried J.R. has not been kidnapped. You will all be happy to know that he did arrive just before our workout was over! He had been sick the night before and overslept. :( We all hope you feel better J.R.!

Just call me spaghetti arms

Ryan may have the arms of a 6 year old boy, but, today, I have the arms of Stretch Armstrong. Today was an arm day and I haven't been able to raise my arms above shoulder level all day! Blow drying my hair was tough, I barely could turn my steering wheel (umm dangerous much) and you must be kidding about getting up out of my work chair! My arms are made of goo.

Are You Stronger Than a 5th Grader?

Because I'm not. Honestly, a 5th grader would probably put a wicked beat down on me. I think I'd be real competition in the 1st grade realm though. I would OWN those six year olds!! Booyah!

Now, I'm sure you're wondering what brought on this embarrassing confession on my part and I blame it on J.R. Well...not really. He was just the conduit to my epiphany. Today we worked out our chests and through J.R.'s exercises I came to a glaring realization that I have almost no chest muscles. I don't even know if there are any in there, really. I think I might be wired wrong and my body just goes from breasts to veins to bone and I just skipped over the whole muscle part. Or at least that's what I tell myself so I don't seem so puny and pathetic. :)

So I have found my Achilles heel: my chest. I'm sure now that I (and J.R.) have realized my feebleness in that area I am going to have many more grueling chest workouts in my near future to bring it up to snuff with the rest of my sweet bod. Until then, I suppose I'll be weary of anyone over the age of 6...

Does this image strike fear into your hearts?? Well it should...

And I'm Back in the Game...

After a long absence I am here and blogging again! I took a short hiatus to vacate the mainland and head to visit my dear friend Kristy in the great state of Hawaii. I am tanned and rested and ready to get back at it.

I did pretty well in Hawaii. Lots of seafood, a couple of serious feasts (as warranted on vacation) and stayed pretty active. We stayed at a little bungalow not too far from the beach. Kristy worked a couple of mornings so I would get up, run (yes - run) on the beach and then lay out for a couple of hours before Kristy would pick me up and we would figure out what we wanted to do. Other fun activities include swimming with the dolphins, a round of golf, and a hike that include what has lovingly been dubbed "cardiac hill." Check out the pic below - it totally does not do this hill justice!


But now it is back to reality. Today was the first day back at the gym and I'm sure tomorrow will be hell with the Day 2 soreness. Awesome. Today we had to do what I have dubbed the "crab shuffle" where we chassé across the floor with ankle bands on. Afterward I felt like I was going back up Cardiac Hill. Whooo!


I want to commend Ryan for her blogging in my absence. I don't know how I can ever compare to the "train-ultery" post and honestly, I don't think I want to. So there.

More and better blogging to come I promise. But for now, in the immortal words of my fantastic roommate Cortney - Deuces!

New Gadgets!

Hello all!

I added a few fun new gadgets to the site so be sure to check them out! I think I'm finally starting to get the hang of this blogging thing!!

Hooray!

My Man Fred

I would like to introduce all of you to a very special little guy in my life, Fred. Fred who? Silly you...

Fred is my food diary. As of yesterday, I began keeping a log of my daily consumption of food and fluids. Although I think I'm pretty conscious of my eating, I figure that this would be rather painless to do and it will hopefully keep me on track! And just to make my life a little easier I made a quick reference sheet of the calorie content of fruits & veggies I eat regularly. I know, I know, it's a little Martha Stewart of me but it's just oh so convenient! If anyone else is thinking (or already keeping) a diary and wants me to share my cheat sheet just let me know!